So, it’s 3:19 AM on I guess what would technically be referred to as Day T + 8. I can’t sleep, which is frustrating because I was so fucking tired like, five hours ago and now we out here, wide awake and ready to be alive.
It be like that sometimes though. So instead of being pissed that I’m not sleeping, I will write.
I realize that I gave a detailed account of the boat we were on but neglected to say where said boat was taking us. The vague ‘island’ I mentioned is Koh Phi Phi, which is like the Hawaii of Thailand.
And now that we’re referencing the last post, we did end up braving the storms for food last night (two nights ago?). It wasn’t too bad and I got to test out my poncho, so really a win win situation. Plus rain is always cool, especially when you get to sit under something and eat food while you watch it come down.
Last (last) night the island, like the MRT station, was suspiciously empty. Maybe because it was storming, but it still feels like a dream where it’s just me and my lads out in the land, experiencing a place that only a brain in the deepest levels of REM could come up with.
Now, there are substantially more people but still not as many as expected for a place that looks like this. And when I say that, I mean it. It’s more than a little unnerving, it’s apocalyptic and concerning.
Like most other things on this trip, we had planned to come here, but not what to do. So after a (free!) breakfast, we were wandering back in the direction of the room when we saw advertisements for a Long Boat day ride.
Next thing you know, we’re being shuttled off to sea in a wood boat that’s lined with life jackets and painted all kinds of fun colors. Honestly, even though it was one of the most touristy things we’ve done on this trip (and we’ve done a lot) and I still feel like I’m on the boat, rocking in the waves at The Witching Hour, it was so cool I don’t even care.
The first stop we hit was Monkey Beach, which is exactly what it sounds like. Monkeys are odd. Watching them use their hands and then watching the people around them using their hands definitely hits on the Uncanny Valley. Making eye contact with one makes me feel awkward in the same way that making eye contact with someone you sort of know and you’re not sure if you should wave does. And they’re Dramatic too. At one point two of them started fighting and fell out of a tree and landed on the beach and one got chased out into the water. The rest of the monkeys gathered on shore and looked like they had forced the Lone Boi off the island. Another one also ended up on the boat and the captain did intensive battle with it. The monkey was on the bow of the boat, squared up with the captain. The captain had a cigarette in his mouth and a sandal raised in preparation, but he looked calm, like a war hardened general. And it was raining, which upped the drama of it exponentially. They just stood there and stared each other down before the monkey eventually retreated back to the beach.
Besides that we also did a lot of snorkeling. Usually, when I’ve snorkeled in the past, you see like, 3 or 4 fish and then maybe a turtle and a tire that got chucked into the sea years ago. Koh Phi Phi isn’t like that. I’ve never seen so many fish before. There are these yellow and blue stripped little guys that hang out near the surface and don’t care that you’re floating inches away. The monkeys were kind of like that too. Both of them just kind of wandered around and definitely did not care that you were there. I ended up back near the boat while most of our group was farther out and these little dudes were just chilling out. I couldn’t see anyone else and it was just me and these friends floating in the sea and rolling in the waves. One more note about these bad boys was that they’re Hungry. We had a deck hand who was definitely there for the laughs who would fling out rice and watermelon chunks at us and the fish would swarm. I got a hold of on of the slices of watermelon and the fish came up and ate it out of my hands.
If you dove a little deeper, there were lots of other very colorful fish who were definitely less friendly. One looked like the push pops I would get as a little kid, with bright green and pink and blue but was maybe a little melty and the colors overlapped into something incomprehensible. There was another one that was blue and had pink markings around the eyes like someone had drawn them on.
Snorkeling was cool, but seeing all the little islands was by far the best part. We stopped at Bamboo Island, which, I now understand why sand in instagram photos looks like That. You could also go out like a foot and scoop up a handful of coral that any middle aged mom would kill to have in some kind of glass jar to fulfill her Pinterest Aesthetic. We eventually wandered further into the island and got coconuts, which holy shit. I’m never going to be able to eat fruit in the states again. That was like drinking God Juice. It was one of those things that’s so good, the world had to balance it out by making these big ass bee looking things that want nothing more than to snack on some fresh ass coconut and Will Hover Around for some of that sweet nectar.
The lady doing the coconut dispensing was very entertained by us trying to run away from this Boss Battle Bee but eventually put out some sugar water for it and saved our souls.
The last place we saw was called Pileh Lagoon and it’s pretty far out in the ocean. In the morning, the weather was nice and the ocean was calm. But by the time we were headed out, it had gotten cold and stormy and basically ended up being boat ride from Hell part 2. I was less seasick and more scared that we were going to have a Titanic level capsizing moment, but the captain was smiling like the sea had finally given him a worthy challenge and the deck hand was laying down with the neck of his shirt pulled over his face, so it wasn’t too concerning. But it was cold and I was a little ready to be done.
I’m really glad we weren’t. This lagoon was, I don’t even know. We pulled into this inlet and navigated through the cliffs. The rain had slowed to a drizzle and the deckhand was up and at the bow, staring out into the distance like he’s a great explorer. It eventually opened up into a big lagoon, with cliffs shooting up out of the water on all sides. The contrast of the green of the plants and the blue of the water is unreal. And the captain let us jump in and swim around.
It felt Mystical. It really did. It was so quiet and the mountains were so tall. The salt content of the water here is so high that you hardly have to do anything to stay afloat and you can just lay on your back and stare up at the sky. It was warm too, so it was a respite from the wind and the cold. But all good things must end and we had to get back on the boat and shuffle back to shore.
Catch my ghost chillin here after I shuffle off this mortal coil
I also think one of the best parts was this two man crew. They were Pixar-Grade material. The captain was an old man who looked like he had spent everyday of his life on a boat and the sea was his old friend. Instead of a chair he had a hammock set up and chilled there the whole day. The deck hand was young and smiley and definitely a protégée. He messed with everyone and took a picture of all the people on the trip and kept it just for himself. There was also this couple for the Netherlands that were goals. They had been traveling for two and a half months and were so kind and confident and beautiful. I miss them.
All in all, it was awesome. But I do feel like we need to be real about super touristy stuff. Monkey Beach was cool, but everyone was gathered around them, cameras out and totally focused. Take two steps back from the group and it’s a whole different spectacle of tourist watching. And I’m definitely guilty of stuff like that too (i.e my excessive snapchat stories). It’s just wild to see it in action with a large group. The snorkeling was rad, but there were large stretches of broken and dead coral in between the patches of reefs. I don’t know very much about normal ocean ecosystems, but that doesn’t seem right. And I watched people stand on reefs and the monkeys rip up plastic to get food. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen the impact that humans have on the environment so much in one day. Even one of the beaches was closed to give the environment a chance to rebuild from all the destruction from tourists. I don’t want to be negative about the things that I’ve been incredibly lucky to experience, I just don’t want to make it seem like everything about this trip has been perfect. And I’m glad I got to see all the things that I saw today. It’s something that I’ve heard about and seen pictures of, but actually witnessing it made me question what traveling means to me and how I actually impact the space around me, even if I’m trying to be mindful.
But it’s not all bad and I’ve gotten to see some really amazing stuff. And it’s now very late (or early? When does night become morning? Time doesn’t even mean anything anymore) and I must rest so I don’t die.
Godspeed lads.
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